TAG! You're it!

1. being a little egotistical

2. being in your own personal space

3. being proud of your quirks

4. realize you get angry/sad/hopeless/emotional for a reason and shouldn’t dwell on it

5. know that it’s got to get bad before it gets good

6. not caring or worry TOO much

7. knowing when to say I don’t give a fuck

I know it sucks when you feel down and irritated but the fact is that we drive all of those around us even more irritated, angry and probably a million of other stuff too. It’s ok to be self-centered to a healthy amount but we also need to realise that we’re not alone and we have other peoples feelings to consider as well.

For instance, everytime I get angry, from the eyes of the observer it’s for no apparent reason but on the other hand I’m feeling pressured/under attack and I feel the need to defend myself. Once it’s all said and done the attackee (lol, strange word alert!) will blame the “acting out” on themselves. Not cool. And what will drive me even deeper in the angry state and eventually depression is the self-acusation. I will constantly bring myself down for standing up for myself and feel bad knowing someone is feeling like shit on my expense. So practically I’m driving myself crazy. It’s how I’ve been hardwired since my childhood and it’s hard to just quit acting like that when it’s all become a part of me.

It’s not self-loathing anymore, it’s more of a exploration of what I’m doing and why - it’s hard to do this on your own though. They say it’s rare or even impossible to fight out of depression and anger control issues by yourself and I can tell you first hand it’s fucking hard. I’m seriously considering visiting a psychiatrist to help me out a little and guide me through some deadly pitfalls.

I just hope I won’t be diagnosed with EMO. That’s a harsh label.